MATT ZOLLER SEITZ: Fear and Hugging at Dunder-Mifflin

MATT ZOLLER SEITZ: Fear and Hugging at Dunder-Mifflin

James Spader's debut sharpened "The Office's" dulled edge — but does the show have the nerve to draw blood again?

By Matt Zoller Seitz
Press Play Contributor

Last night James Spader took charge of the post-Steve Carell The Office with the same quiet confidence that his onscreen alter ego, Robert California, brought to his eerie job interview last spring. But what, if anything, can the series do with his invigorating energy?

In a piece about Spader's official hiring by NBC over the summer, I wrote:

The beautiful thing about that 'interview' scene in the finale was how it offered an electrifying alternative to the type of boss represented by Michael Scott, and almost everyone angling to replace him. California wasn't a fatuous twit like Michael. He was more like a decadent prince forced to live among the rabble. The office workers had to be on their toes, alert at every second and scrutinizing everything the man across from them was saying, because they could sense that he was brilliant and manipulative — possibly so brilliant that they couldn't tell precisely how he was manipulating them.

In the show's season premiere, titled "The List," Spader's California was every inch the prince, dividing and conquering the employees of Dunder-Mifflin's Scranton branch by "accidentally" leaving his notebook at the reception desk, with a two-column list of employee names in plain view. I put scare quotes around "accidentally" because California is obviously a mind-effer extraordinaire — a prospective branch manager who mysteriously replaced Jo (Harry's Law star Kathy Bates) as the company's CEO within days of starting work. ("He talked her out of her own job," John Krasinski's Jim Halpert said, "and I really don't know how someone does that.") California's list was quickly copied and distributed throughout the branch. It unnerved the workers, who didn't know if the presence of their names in one column or the other was a predictor of good fortune or doom; soon they were fighting like passengers on a crippled ocean liner trying to pile into the last remaining lifeboat. California compounded their fear by inviting all the people in one column out to lunch and proclaiming them "Winners," which of course made the other people on the list "Losers."

You can read the rest of the Matt's piece here at Salon.

A critic, journalist and filmmaker, Matt Zoller Seitz is the staff TV columnist for Salon.com and the founder of Press Play.

THREE REASONS: THE NOISY REQUIEM, directed by Yoshihiko Matsui

THREE REASONS: THE NOISY REQUIEM, directed by Yoshihiko Matsui

EDITOR'S NOTE: Once again, Robert Nishimura's Three Reasons shines a spotlight on a film that merits the Criterion treatment.

Three Reasons: The Noisy Requiem from For Criterion Consideration on Vimeo.

By Robert Nishimura
Press Play Contributor

The Noisy Requiem revolves around Makoto Iwashita, a homeless serial killer who murders young women so that he can harvest their reproductive organs. He collects these visceral mementos so he can stuff them in the belly of his lover, the model woman of his desire, a mannequin. Makoto lives on the roof of an abandoned tenement building with his wooden mistress, making love to her through a makeshift vagina. The organs he acquires are to ensure that she can bear his child, which she eventually does until tragedy falls upon their happy home. The film follows Makoto through his daily routine: feeding some pigeons, decapitating them, finding some other chicks to murder and maim, and landing a job as a sewer scooper for a pair of incestuous midget siblings. We are also introduced to an older vagabond who carries with him a severed tree trunk that looks remarkably like a woman's torso. The rest of the film's inhabitants are the actual people who live in Shinsekai, floating in and out of the periphery like ghosts in a forgotten district of hell.

All of this happens within the first ten minutes of the film. Not a single word of dialogue has been spoken, aside from the few monosyllabic grunts here and there. Makoto practically melts into the background, a killer in plain sight, completely ignored by everyone around him. We then cut to a scene at the park, where two young schoolgirls watch some busking war veterans beg for change. One of the girls tells her friend of the dream she had the night before. In it she watches a pure white dove compete for breadcrumbs. As the bird struggles for each scrap of food, it begins to transform into a black crow, as the breadcrumbs become human remains. As the girls give the buskers some money, she explains that it was only natural for the dove to become a crow, for out of desperation to find happiness we all lose our innocence. These are some pretty profound words coming from the mouths of a couple of kids just shooting the shit in the park. But the film's director, Yoshihiko Matsui, has clearly defined where Makoto is coming from and where he will inevitably go. All the film's crows are that way out of necessity — still desperately searching for attention and love in a society that has abandoned them.

The Noisy Requiem is very much a product of Japanese cinema in the 1980s. The era marked the beginning of the end of an era that encouraged and supported innovative filmmaking, and the beginning of the next generation of underground filmmaking — one born out of necessity and circumstance.

The great radical masters of the previous decades — Nagisa Ôshima, Shôhei Imamura, Shûji Terayama, Hiroshi Teshigahara, and Kazuo Kuroki — had been assimilated and spat out by the mainstream studios, some of them producing their swan songs before fading away, unnoticed and unappreciated. The Art Theater Guild of Japan, which had fostered independent filmmakers, producing many groundbreaking films throughout the sixties and seventies, was getting out of production altogether. Only a handful of films came out of the ATG before it closed up shop in the mid-80s. But by this point the country's major studios were already flailing in a bone-dry creative pool. The majors had co-opted the themes and visual styles from underground cinema, sanitized it for mainstream audience consumption and left the masters behind; at the same time, the studios were moving towards a vertically integrated system that would force independent producers like ATG out of business.

Out of the collapse of the ATG came a new movement that favored a more DIY approach to filmmaking. Driven by Japan's growing underground punk music scene, young filmmakers took the cheapest route available: 8mm (Japan continued using single gauge 8mm film long after Super 8 was introduced in the West). Yoshihiko Matsui emerged from this tradition along with Sogo Ishii, both film students at Nihon University. Sogo Ishii would quickly gain a name for himself with the growing v-cinema boom and cyberpunk movement that took off at the start of the decade. Ishii's Panic High School and Crazy Thunder Road were all completed while the director was still in film school and are all considered required viewing by hardcore fans of the movement. Matsui Yoshihiko worked closely with Ishii during this time and acted as Assistant Director for most of Ishii's early films. In turn Ishii shot Matsui's debut feature Rusty Empty Can and his sophomore effort, the elegantly titled, Pig Chicken Suicide.

Matsui's next film was The Noisy Requiem. It wasn't completed until several years after Pig Chicken Suicide, and it took a while for a distributor to pick it up. It was not merely Matsui's finest film, but his most distinctive, an evolutionary step beyond his previous films, which owed much to the style of his partner-in-crime Ishii Sogo. Since the cyberpunk movement was gaining popularity, The Noisy Requiem became an immediate underground success, but it evaded critical attention at home and abroad. The reviews that it did get were polarized, and focused mainly on its disturbing plot points and characterizations. Its stark black-and-white, hand-held 16mm photography add to its already unnervingly naturalistic feel; there is a strong sense of immediacy to the film. Yet there is still a feeling of timelessness. At points it feels like a documentary that slips into moments of madness and sublime expressionism. Perhaps the film was ignored because of its setting in a homeless community of Kamagasaki, Shinsekai in Osaka. To this day, the Japanese government has still maintained the absurd claim that there are no homeless people in Japan, an idea that immediately falls apart if you've even been to any city in the country; a collective national urge to ignore the guy who scored a refrigerator box for the night could explain why a film like The Noisy Requiem went largely unnoticed.

As Johannes Schönherr (at Midnight Eye) already pointed out, the first ten minutes of The Noisy Requiem firmly establish Matsui's worldview and, with Shakespearean bravado, foreshadow its unavoidable outcome. From the moment our schoolgirls leave the frame the film takes a derisive turn in many stylistic directions. Makoto soon enters the scene to accost the two buskers. Matsui suddenly walks away from the action before the argument culminates into violence. Matsui's camera spastically revolves around the park, coming full circle to the action as Makoto starts beating the crap out of the handicapped veterans. Makoto represents the blackest of crows in our already pitch-black aviary. But as Matsui will soon reveal, the depths of his obscene depravity are matched only by his obsessive devotion.

As the film continues we are introduced to our two white doves: a beautiful young couple dressed in white. We never learn their names or how they ended up in Shinsekai, but we immediately recognize that they are innocent, and very much in love. Matsui overexposes the scene so that the characters are surrounded by pure white light, erasing everything else around them. They are never referenced within the film and never speak throughout their transformation, their transformation to hungry black crows, pecking at the rest of the dead. At first it seems as though this couple is meant to contrast Makoto’s black crow, but as the film progresses we witness our white dove’s fall from grace, driven by the boy’s lust for the girl. As hard as they try to maintain their innocence, their environment ultimately corrupts them. By showing the couple unable to resist temptation, Matsui only strengthens Makoto's purity in his devotion to his mannequin. His love for her is real enough, and there is no distraction from his loyalty to her.

There is no question that Makoto’s love for his mannequin is pure. We see how they first met, the moments they share together, cleaning her, tending to her, protecting her, and killing for her. This is all shown in such a way that we cannot help but empathize with Makoto. In a style usually reserved for romantic melodramas, Makoto dances with her as the camera revolves around them, with pools of filth glimmering around them in the moonlight. Later in this scene Makoto confesses his hatred for the world around him. Like Travis Bickle in Taxi Driver, Makoto is waiting for the cleansing rain to wash away the dirty streets and disgusting people he sees outside of Shinsekai. Matsui’s seems to share Makoto's view of morality in Shinsekai and of the outside world.

Matsui defends Makoto as an honorable character, but like everyone in the film, his obsession will only lead to ruin. There is no other outcome for these poor souls, and each will meet their own grisly death. Everyone is desperately clinging to whatever they can in a place that has forsaken them, and Makoto’s rooftop home offers a place for them to indulge in their passion. But saying that the characters lack any moral compass is problematic once Matsui shows how people act in “the outside world.” Matsui portrays normal society as something equally disgusting, and in some scenes he simply hides his camera and records the reactions of “normal society” to his characters. In another scene a busload of senior citizens bust out laughing when a midget woman falls over (twice). Although this scene was clearly staged, it doesn’t paint a pretty picture of a supposed moral society. Matsui doesn't condone Makoto's actions, but it is clear that Matsui considers him noble in his dedication to his mannequin.

Most recent reviews of the film are quick to call Matsui’s style nihilist and disturbing, and certainly after reading the above synopsis you would probably agree.  Matsui’s guerilla filmmaking approach reinforces that kind of reading, especially since much of the film was clearly shot without permits or permission.  Matsui actually set the roof of a building on fire near the film’s climax, and then snuck away to a neighboring building to film the fireman and cops sniff around the remains of Makoto’s makeshift home.  Matsui’s complete disregard for linear storytelling offers a glimpse into the reality of Kamagasaki, often leaving characters behind while the camera walks up and down the street showing the real inhabitants going about their lives.  Flawlessly edited, the cinematography flows effortlessly from vérité to dream-like fantasy, kinetic and visually abstract.  But also slow paced, lingering on beautifully composed moments of horror and misery, as well as love and desire.  Some viewers might avoid the film because of the described violence, or others may have high expectations to see some crazy J-style weirdness.  The Noisy Requiem stands apart from most genre classifications, and certainly should not be lumped together with other v-cinema cyberpunk films of that period.  The violence is disturbing, but it is never graphic or fetishized. It is a deeply personal film, made with compassion for it's subject matter and an understanding of what innovative cinema can be.  Like many of his mentors from the ATG, Matsui was able to evoke the spirit of his generation while maintaining his own unique vision.  Having a film like The Noisy Requiem in the Criterion Collection would give Matsui the recognition he deserves, and would allow the Western world to see one of the most important independent films to come out of Japan since the fall of the Art Theatre Guild.

Robert Nishimura is a Japan-based filmmaker, artist, and freelance designer. His designs can be found at Primolandia Productions. His non-commercial video work is at For Criterion Consideration. You can follow him on Twitter here. To watch other videos in his "Three Reasons" series, click here.

SIMON SAYS: Best and Worst at the Toronto International Film Festival 2011

SIMON SAYS: Best and Worst at the Toronto International Film Festival 2011

By Simon Abrams
Press Play Contributor

Just got home from the Toronto International Film Festival (TIFF). Pretty exhausted. Saw 21 films in a week’s time — not bad, but not nearly as good as the 42 films I saw at Cannes. In any case, here’s a li'l rundown of the films I saw at the festival but did not write about for Nomad Editions: Wide Screen, the super-duper fantastic outlet for whom I did most of my Toronto coverage. Pardon my brevity.

Alps: Yorgos Lanthimos’ follow-up to Dogtooth is a more polished version of his earlier Kinetta. Like that film, Alps suggests that social interaction is nothing but a self-perpetuating kind of performance art governed by arbitrary but communally accepted rules. Lanthimos’ playful mise-en-scène and bitterly dark sense of humor makes this almost as good as the virtuosic Dogtooth, but not quite. A.

Anonymous: I’m not sure if I’m going to review this at a later date, but just in case I do, I’ll only say this: ewwwwwww. F+.

Carré blanc: A new French sci-fi film with considerable buzz behind it. It’s an engaging and moving mishmash of themes that THX 1138 previously explored. Far too literal for its own good, but it’s short and sweet, if largely unambitious. B.

Chicken with Plums: Persepolis comic creator Marjane Satrapi collaborates again with Vincent Parronaud, co-director of the film adaptation, to create a vibrant melodrama that provides some fascinating insight into Satrapi’s shadow puppet/burlesque-style of drama. Mathieu Amalric stars as an unhappily married father of two determined to kill himself. After we watch this character stumble through a week of absurd trials and tribulations, we come to see how the ridiculous circumstances of the past have informed his present death wish. Chicken with Plums falls apart during its last ten minutes, but still, it's a mostly warm and funny sophomore collaboration for Satrapi and Parronaud. B+.

God Bless America: Comedian Bobcat Goldthwait’s fifth directorial offering is being woefully misinterpreted as a black comedy that lauds its deranged protagonist’s actions. I find this frustrating, considering how often the director shows us that he likes his characters’ politics but does not respect their violent actions at all. A man with a victim complex (Mad Men’s Joel Murray) runs around, with a young teenage misanthrope in tow, killing people that he thinks deserve it. The murderous pair are self-righteous and precocious, but they’re not right because they kill people. Goldthwait’s venomous and barn-door-broad observations on the devolution of pop culture are infrequently hilarious (ex: the tampon gag). Wish there was more to it. B-.

Into the Abyss: Werner Herzog’s documentary about Michael Perry, a young Texan that was sentenced to the death penalty for his part in the murder of three people, is harrowing, but also features a number of the Austrian director’s idiosyncratic problems. Herzog’s pre-lethal injection visits are painful, but he tries too hard to structure his film around his observations of how we’re all trapped by time. Stil, pretty sharp for the most part. A-.

Kotoko: The 11th film I’ve seen by seminal Japanese horror/punk filmmaker Shinya Tsukamoto is a characteristically stirring character study. The title character desperately tries to become comfortable with not knowing if she can protect both her child and herself from, uh, herself. It gets monotonous after a point, but Tsukamoto’s performance as a nebbish man that offers a supplementary target for Kotoko’s sadomasochistic impulses is veddy good indeed. B+.

Life Without Principle: It takes a while to get used to the radically different tone of Hong Kong filmmaker Johnnie To’s latest, but once it gets going, Life Without Principle becomes an absorbing neo-noir that mercilessly exploits the current global recession to create a story about gamblers of all stripes. Clever and sharp storytelling from To, a modern master of mood and pacing. A-.

Love and Bruises: Without showing any signs of improvement, Chinese filmmaker Lou Ye covers the same ground with the same exact emotional beats as he did in the superior Summer Palace and Spring Fever. Still, he does self-destructive romance well enough so, OK, fine, sure. C+.

M

Moneyball: Capote director Bennett Miller’s first film in six years is a very good underdog sports movie, though not much more. Screenwriters Aaron Sorkin and Steve Zaillian’s attempts to make Oakland A’s manager Billy Beane (Brad Pitt) look like a dickish visionary are undermined by Miller's impulse to keep the film grounded in formulaic storytelling tropes (all the transition shots of Pitt staring off into outer space are maddeningly rote). Once the A’s break a major sports record, the film becomes largely defined by clichés and bad melodrama. Jonah Hill gives a pretty strong breakout performance as the statistician who gave Beane his edge. B+.

Smuggler: Accomplished surrealist Katsuhito Ishii (The Taste of Tea, Funky Forest: The First Contact) pointlessly pays homage to and sometimes sends up Guy Ritchie with a gangster epic that is not nearly weird enough to be anything more than just disappointing. Is that one guy done up to look like Blacula? Yes, I think so. Why? I do not know. D.

You’re Next: According to film programmer Colin Geddes, director Adam Wingard (Popskull, A Horrible Way to Die) wanted to make a “Midnight Madness movie,” or a movie that would feel right at home at the wildly popular sidebar of contemporary horror films that Geddes programs every year for TIFF. As such, Wingard pored over other Midnight Madness movies in an attempt to crack some kind of secret Midnight Madness code. The result is You’re Next, a stupid but stylish slasher that revels in pointless violence. You don’t grow to like Wingard’s final girl, you just appreciate that she can fuck people’s shit up real good. Ugh, no mas. D.

Simon Abrams is a New York-based freelance arts critic. His film reviews and features have been featured in the Village Voice, Time Out New York, Slant Magazine, The L Magazine, New York Press and Time Out Chicago. He currently writes TV criticism for The Onion AV Club and is a contributing writer at the Comics Journal. His writings on film are collected at the blog, The Extended Cut.

MATT ZOLLER SEITZ: Charlie Sheen’s wicked, wicked, winning ways

MATT ZOLLER SEITZ: Charlie Sheen’s wicked, wicked, winning ways

EDITOR'S NOTE: Matt Zoller Seitz says Two and a Half Men replacement Ashton Kutcher can't compete with pop culture's smirking prince of darkness.

By Matt Zoller Seitz
Press Play Contributor

This article was supposed to compare last night's Comedy Central roast of Charlie Sheen and the premiere of CBS' Two and a Half Men, starring Ashton Kutcher in Sheen's old role. That's not going to happen because after watching the roast, I can barely remember a thing about Two and a Half Men. The Sheen roast — and Charlie Sheen himself — all but obliterated the CBS sitcom from my mind; any details contained herein are the result of consulting notes and a DVR recording.

Charlie Sheen tends to have that effect. The man is superficially charming but thoroughly loathsome, so bereft of anything resembling decency or common sense that the media and the public can enjoy his prolonged flameout without a twinge of guilt. And yet he's mesmerizing for precisely that reason. Nobody in the history of American popular culture has built such a long career almost entirely upon being a decadent, sarcastic, horny, volatile party animal, minus any remarkable talent to counterbalance it. It's unprecedented. But it's not as if it all started last month.

Remember when Sheen replaced Michael J. Fox on Spin City a decade ago and played pretty much the same character he played for all those years on "Men"? Both characters were kin to Sheen's first memorable screen role, the raggedy teenager with bloodshot eyes who charms the hero's sister at the police station in 1986's Ferris Bueller's Day Off. As Sheen himself recalled in his closing statement at the roast, his first line in that comedy was "Drugs?" Twenty-five years later, he's still here — meaning in popular culture, and in our heads — for drugs. By which I mean Sheen is here because he needs the drugs — the actual narcotics and the drug of fame. And society is happy to supply plenty of both.

On some deep, horrible level that most people don't want to admit, that's what makes Charlie Sheen darkly attractive, and impossible to ignore, much less shun: his sheer, arrogant, delighted-with-himself I-don't-give-a-damnness. We have to play by rules. He doesn't. He's the guy who gets away with it.

You can read the rest of Matt's piece on Charlie Sheen here at Salon.

A critic, journalist and filmmaker, Matt Zoller Seitz is the staff TV columnist for Salon.com and the founder of Press Play.

Reason, madness and DRIVE: Nicholas Winding Refn’s damaged macho men

Reason, madness and DRIVE: Nicholas Winding Refn’s damaged macho men

EDITOR’S NOTE: Warning: this piece contains spoilers for Drive. Read at your own risk.

By Louis Godfrey
Press Play Contributor

The silver Chevy Impala sits on the other side of a red stoplight from a police cruiser at a downtown Los Angeles intersection. The Driver is icy and locked in, even as he hears over a police scanner that the cruiser has made him as the getaway car in an armed robbery. The light turns green, and the Driver punches the gas. The cruiser flips a u-turn and hits its siren. Looking through the front windshield, we can see the Impala is picking up speed as it winds in and out of traffic. Cut to the back windshield, we can see the cruiser in pursuit. Cut to the driver, whose expression barely registers the action. The pattern repeats: front of the car, back of the car, back to the driver, who is as mechanical as the vehicle he is piloting. The Impala makes a hard right, which the cruiser is unable to follow, and disappears into a crowded Staples Center parking lot.

That sequence comes near the beginning of Drive, the new film from Danish director Nicolas Winding Refn, and it’s basic, unusual rhythm is repeated, stretched, and contracted in subsequent chase scenes. Unusual in that, unlike the classic car duel in Peter Yates’s Bullitt (which pivots on establishing shots, other exterior to the car or through a windshield), the chases in Drive pivot on tight close-ups of the unshaken visage of the nameless driver, played by Ryan Gosling. The Driver is unambiguously the visual center of the film, with the camera constantly working to accommodate him. Often shot standing solitarily in the background, apart from groupings of other characters in discussion, the Driver is always sharply in focus. It is only when the Driver is squarely in the frame, and particularly when the film turns brutal and bloody, that the focal length shortens, and the world blurs around him, aligning us squarely with his subjectivity.

Adapted by Hossein Amini from James Sallis’s hard-boiled novel, Drive is a crime story firmly rooted in genre: the Driver, who specializes in getaway jobs, gets roped into a heist to save the husband of his next-door neighbor (Carey Mulligan), but runs afoul of two gangsters (Albert Brooks and Ron Pearlman). Throughout there are traces of Los Angeles-specific noir (To Live and Die in LA and Chinatown), the existential heist and hitman films of Jean-Pierre Melville (Le Cercle Rouge, Le Samourai), Lee Marvin’s vengeance-seeking anti-hero in John Boorman’s Point Blank, and the professionally cool persona of Steve McQueen (The Getaway, the aforementioned Bullitt), who continues to personify the relationship between manliness and horsepower. But Drive is not an imitation or pastiche; from those previous films it extracts not merely a sensibility, but elements of character, an archetype. The Driver is the white knight in a black fedora, resolute with clarity of purpose, and above all autonomous and filled with masculine potential.

Drive is also an incredibly unnerving film in a way that its genre predecessors are typically not. When the first act of violence comes, a gunshot deep into the film, the sound slams like a punch to the chest. Shotgun blasts to the face, a shower rod jammed in a throat, a foot crushing a skull as if it were a Styrofoam cup – there is a palpable fleshiness to the action and the resulting viscera similar to that of Winding Refn’s earlier films, including the Pusher trilogy, Bronson and Valhalla Rising. Those movies also center on images of masculine archetypes – street-level drug dealers, a pathologically violent prisoner, and crusading Vikings – but the images are mutilated, cleaved of their symbolic values, exposing a raw physicality that turns the male body into an arena of madness.

It is the traditional aim of cinema to preserve its diegetic and narrative reality by perpetuating the illusion of a cohesive alignment between gaze of the viewer and the gaze of the camera. The basic elements of film grammar – the subjective point-of-view shot, the reversal, the objective establishing shot – work in concert with each other to enunciate what has preceded them. In Lacanian psychoanalytic terms, the succession of shots ‘sutures’ together the viewer and the camera, establishing an imaginary cohesion between the two gazes that becomes something of an Ouroboros, doubling back on itself. While no film can perfectly suture the gazes, many do well enough to preserve the external appearance of internal logic. In turn, that logic must placate broader ideological biases in the culture, such as the equating of the emotional with the feminine and the rational with the masculine.

Violence complicates the formulation though. Traumatic imagery necessarily distances the viewer from the on-screen reality. “The result of witnessing some excessively cruel event, from intense sexual activity, to physical torture,” writes Slavoj Zizek in The Fright of Real Tears, “ is that, when, afterwards, we return to our ‘normal’ reality, we cannot conceive of both domains as belonging to the same reality.” Horrors captured by the camera can not be reconciled with the viewer’s reality, so they are ‘derealized,’ separated out into an imaginary reality of their own. But within that imaginary reality, those acts of violence are still sutured in that the gaze of the camera normalizes them. This is particularly true in crime films, whose protagonists are more often than not signifiers of masculine archetypes, grounded in invented social contexts, fraternal codes, and grand guiding principles. From Michael Corleone (The Godfather), to Henry Hill (Goodfellas), to Batman (The Dark Knight), immoral, nihilistic acts are granted the province of reason.

Winding Refn is a great cinematic technician, and he uses the tools of his craft to not necessarily undo the suture, but to pull on it, make its stitching and scar tissue visible, and letting the infection leak out of it. There are common technical elements throughout his work, including irregular editing patterns, jarring sound designs, and highly expressionistic uses of color (especially red, which often bathes the screen, enveloping the scene). But Winding Refn also tailors the visuals of each film to its subject, finding ways to disrupt the normative gaze of the camera and not only to strip the masculine archetype of the presumption of reason, but to expose the archetype as madness itself. The Pusher films are all handheld camera, which swerves through dingy cafes with its characters, runs with them from the police, and pushes in tightly on their face, capturing every scab, tattoo, trace of drug residue, and splash of blood. Bronson is a mangy mashup of vaudeville, dank prison cells, art-deco mental institutions, documentary footage, music videos, and tacky living rooms. And Valhalla Rising draws its bleak muddiness and gothic dread as much from Northern European masters such as Hieronymous Bosch and Matthias Gruenwald as it does the album art of Scandinavian black metal records.

Compared with those excesses, Drive is amazingly Spartan and lean, the pacing as deliberate and laconic as its central character. We are slowed down to the Driver’s subjectivity, almost allowing us to feel the shape of a bullet as he fumbles it in his fingers. The world is lit to fit his image, unnaturally, with shadows running much deeper than they should. But edges are not hard, as they are in classic noir. Rather the color gradations are subtle and elongated, almost as if they were watercolor illustrations from Grimm’s Fairy Tales. The shadows caress the Driver’s face, and at times almost darken out the wells of his eyes completely. It’s as if he were wearing black eye shadow, making the brilliant blue of Gosling’s irises pop out as silver, like James Cagney’s did in The Public Enemy.

Cagney’s portrayal of Cody Jarett in Raoul Walsh’s White Heat is one of the classic images of male madness in cinema – erratic, feminized, and ultimately easily isolated from the world of reason. It is a vision of madness as a withdrawal from the world, possibly innate (as in White Heat), possibly ‘contagious’ (as in Sam Fuller’s Shock Corridor), but one that is finite, definable, and most importantly, containable. It is also utterly false. Madness and reason, while not arbitrary, are certainly not pure categories. Madness and reason can only exist in relationship to one another, as part of a symbolic order placed on the human psyche, born of our desire to structure our reality in such a way that separates actions from the chaos of the world around us.

But symbolic orders are constantly under pressure from the physical, the real, and so they are constantly in a state of flux, forcing the terms to redefine themselves in relationship to one another. In the case of reason and madness, reason establishes its own parameters by declaring what it is, while madness pushes and pulls against those parameters, daring reason to define it by what it is not. In Alejandro Jodorowsky‘s hallucinatory Santa Sangre (which Winding Refn has acknowledged as a major influence), the man-child Fenix’s arms and hands are appropriated by his mother as tools for murder. Fenix’s body is degraded, physically marked with red press-on nails, and reduced to a grotesque womb this is continuously giving birth to his own trauma and extreme sexual repression. It is madness as a state of change, of becoming.

Winding Refn’s male bodies are also grotesque bodies. They are scared and tattooed, wearing evidence of stress, and pain, and drug use on their faces. Tony’s emotional damage is in the contusions across his face, clashing with the garish tattoo on the back of his neck that reads ‘Respect’ (Pusher II), and Milo’s brow and cheeks hang heavy with age, flabby and exhausted even while he feeds a man’s small intestine into a garbage disposal (Pusher III). The former slave One Eye (Valhalla Rising) is mute, unable to communicate the nightmarish visions he sees except through the cicatrix over his left ocular cavity, and through the body paint applied to his back and chest before he is forced to fight to the death with his bare hands. Mickey Peterson (Bronson) forces a prison guard – who he has taken hostage in his cell, for no other reason than that he could – to apply body paint to his ridiculously large muscles and uncircumcised member before inviting in the riot squad for a brawl (seeming to relish the resulting internal bleeding as much as the fight itself). These bodies are grotesque in that they are brought low, rendered human through proof of their frailty. The marks inflicted upon them the evidence of the tumult between reason and madness, a physical expression of the metaphysical silence between the two Foucault calls “the broken dialogue.”

The Driver is a different, more radical kind of grotesque figure, a body marked by what is absent. All of the supporting characters in Drive wear their biographies on their faces: Bryan Cranston’s Shannon (the Driver’s mentor and fixer) is too haggard to pretend he has dignity, while Carey Mulligan’s Irene has dimples and large tear ducts that show years of forced smiles and hidden sobbing. Irene’s husband Standard (Oscar Isaac) looks like he never slept a night in prison, and Nino’s (Ron Perlman) massive chin gives the look of a man who has been jawing his whole life. But The Driver has no signs of a past on his face, no trace of troubled thoughts or aspirations. When the shadows wrap around Gosling’s face, they find no crevices to hide in, only an unnatural smoothness.

He is an image, and an image cannot contain internal psychology or philosophy, it can only reflect concepts. Winding Refn short-circuits the illusion often by actually reflecting the image of the Driver – in windows, in rearview and kitchen mirrors – back on itself, creating a sort of feedback loop and literalizing Zizek’s concept of the interface in the same way that Orson Welles did with funhouse hall of mirrors in The Lady From Shanghi. Ultimately the Driver’s identity is inextricable from his silver jacket with a golden scorpion on the back (itself lifted from Kenneth Anger’s experimental film Scorpio Rising), just as his hands and leather gloves are one and the same.

Images can also be masks though, and the image of the Driver does mask something physical, something real, which becomes apparent during scenes of violence. When the Driver holds a hammer over a man’s head, we can see veins begin to pop out of his forehead. When he stomps in a man’s face, we can see his lungs heave and sweat fly from his brow. These scenes are the first evidence that the Driver pumps blood or respires, that there is something beneath trying to come out. The film makes a sick joke when, hoping to disguise himself, the Driver dons a rubber mask to hide his face: he wears a mask to cover the mask that can not totally conceal him.

It is shocking though how quickly the image of the Driver regains its composure after the killing is done, even as evidence of it lingers on his face and clothes. In this way the Driver finds a doppel in Albert Brooks’s Bernie Rose. Bernie is as deliberate as the Driver, his face is as smooth (Brooks appears to have shaved his eyebrows for the role), and he explodes into violence before retreating into practiced good humor, folding back cleanly into place like the ornate razor blade he uses to slash another character’s wrist. But Bernie’s face is hallowed, as if something once there has been carved out. For the Driver, there is nothing yet there.

After the final showdown with Bernie, the Driver sits in his car, badly wounded. The camera holds his eyes, and for a moment it seems certain that he will die. It would be the ultimate disintegration of the image. But the Driver pulls himself back to life, and drives on. His body has been exposed as grotesque, tying it into the world, showing it to be open and incomplete. Without autonomy all he has left is his potential. As the credits role, the soundtrack revs up – a robotic electro-pop song with the lyrics, “You have proved to be a real human being, and a real hero.” Those lines are soaked with irony. He has not proved to be those things. He is rather proving to be grotesque, in flux, in a perpetual state of becoming that is no different from madness.

Louis Godfrey currently lives in Chapel Hill, NC. He is originally from Salt Lake City, UT, where he spent five years reporting on politics and court cases, before turning to writing on film. He also likes cats.

To read Ian Grey’s negative review of Drive, click here.

VIDEO ESSAY: COWARDS BEND THE KNEE, directed by Guy Maddin

VIDEO ESSAY: COWARDS BEND THE KNEE, directed by Guy Maddin

EDITOR’S NOTE: Fandor's blog site, Keyframe, begins its Director of the Month series today with a week long tribute to Canadian director Guy Maddin. In addition to specially commissioned articles and an exclusive interview with the director himself, Fandor editor-in-chief and Press Play contributor Kevin B. Lee has collaborated with Matt Zoller Seitz to produce this video essay discussing the technical and thematic achievements of Maddin's 2003 feature Cowards Bend The Knee. But the centerpiece of the weeklong tribute is Fandor's first blogathon hosted on Keyframe called The Maddin-est Blogathon in the World. From September 19-23, Keyframe invites writers, video editors and artists to discuss Maddin's body of work on their own sites. Fandor will cross-link to newly published blog posts and give a special prize to the most creative endeavor. Click here if you would like to participate.

By Kevin B. Lee, Matt Zoller Seitz
Press Play Contributors

Cowards Bend the Knee (Guy Maddin) Video Essay from Fandor Keyframe on Vimeo.

You can watch Guy Maddin’s Cowards Bend The Knee for free on Fandor if you log on with facebook or subscribe to the service for a free trial. In addition, you can watch this video on Fandor here.

Kevin Lee is Editor in Chief of Fandor, a new video on demand website featuring the best of independent and international films. He is also a film critic and award-winning filmmaker. In addition to editing Keyframe, Kevin contributes to film publications and produces online video essays.

GREY MATTERS: Nicolas Winding Refn’s interestingly terrible DRIVE is a feat of hocus-pocus

GREY MATTERS: Nicolas Winding Refn’s interestingly terrible DRIVE is a feat of hocus-pocus

By Ian Grey
Press Play Contributor

Drive is an empty bully of a film, and its creator, Nicolas Winding Refn, is a swindler, a Generation-Whatever Malcolm McLaren whose proven high-art skills are completely absent in this U.S. directorial debut.

The film coerces audiences through an overwhelming, belligerent accruement of cultural stuff, including the bogus gravitas of sophomore semiotics, alluring but irrelevant fetish objects, and Jeopardy-level allusions to high culture. Such elements are meant to make the audience feel clever while watching this film as a beyond-hip house and synth-pop soundtrack reminds you that your CD collection could never compete with it. Cravenly expecting you to buy into all this nonsense, as well as the notion that there’s nothing more hardcore-Sartre than a fairly agreeable man-child in a shiny white satin jacket, Drive banks on American aesthetic insecurities and the tendency of some viewers to fill empty-canvas art with invented meanings. Refn’s interestingly terrible film is as close to being nothing as you can get while still having something to run through a projector.

Meanwhile, the monoculture buzz surrounding Drive has nothing to do with a sudden mass desire for the latest from the bright lunatic who gave us the gorgeously transcendent but exhausting Valhalla Rising and Bronson, a convulsively inventive, incredibly brutal film about the horrors of deformed masculinity that never forgot the broken humanity of its eponymous antihero. No, Drive instead suggests a new brand of cool, one created when an infantilized strain of Comic-Con and fanboy culture discovered serious film. It's fanboy haute couture, with its prettified coloring book simulation noir a safe pre-adolescent fantasy dotted with Mattel Hot Wheels, Peter Pans and Manic Pixie Dream Girls. Ryan Gosling, who already played a child-man in love with a doll in Lars and the Real Girl, is the perfect actor for this adult baby world.

But back to nothing. In his quest for maximum nullity, Refn’s given us a film noir that isn’t, a ‘love story’ that never materializes, and an action film with little of it shot in arty-explosive bursts — a sort of fancy-schmancy chaos cinema — instead of the rhapsodic kinetics of a Peter Yates (Bullitt) or Paul W.S. Anderson (Death Race). And for the plot, Refn — working from a screenplay by Hossein Amini, based on James Sallis’ novel — goes for the barest of bones.

(NOTE: There is one spoiler here.)

Drive is about a quiet young fellow (Gosling) with the best kid leather driving gloves money can buy. He wears that aforementioned satin jacket, the back of which sports an embroidered scorpion patch, and sports impeccably cut hair, presumably kept in place with products that contain lots of petroleum. Nobody asks him his name and he doesn’t give it; perhaps he saw Walter Hill’s The Driver at an impressionable age.

Nameless Driver works as a stunt driver in the movies while taking less savory gigs at night. His boss (Bryan Cranston) hooks him up with a mobbed-up scum bag played by Albert Brooks, who’s faintly interested in the idea of Driver tricking out a car so he can race it somewhere. Meanwhile, Driver also meets and likes a Manic Pixie named Irene (Carey Mulligan) and her kid (Kaden Leos). He likes the mom enough to help prevent her violent, ex-con, loser of a husband (Oscar Isaac) from getting killed due to some amorphous shit he did in the joint.

All of this leads to a robbery that goes astray. A redhead played by Christina Hendricks gets her head blown off and Driver, his girl Irene and her kid all end up as mob targets of one sort or another, with our boyishly laconic wheelman arguably becoming a default hero defined by the film's supporters as existential, because he doesn't seem to care if he bleeds to death.

Let me clarify that I do not hate or even dislike this film, and god knows I’ve projected myself onto some blank canvasses. And there are tiny pleasures here. The painstakingly assembled electronica soundtrack by Cliff Martinez and a variety of other like-minded artists really is terrific and at times even threatens to become a sort of audio libretto to what’s not happening on-screen. The give-and-take between Brooks, Cranston and Ron Perlman offers the sparkle of old pros having a hoot, although Cranston’s performance can meander into overly twitchy weirdness.

As for the media gush about Albert Brooks playing a schmuck — I’m at a loss there. I mean, Albert Brooks has always played a schmuck; the only difference is that this time, he likes to slice people open with a straight edge razor.

Speaking of blood: I’m guessing the rationale of hiring Hendricks was that such a high ticket attraction would dupe viewers into thinking she was — how silly — a character, and not something to attach squibs to. Still, her obliteration is nothing compared to anything that happens in any given True Blood episode and yet cineastes out there are making like Refn is the second coming of Peckinpah. He isn’t. With his sudden splats, cutaways from violence and skilled sound design, he’s more like the new Tobe Hooper.

In other news, Refn’s newfound infatuation with semiotics is, if nothing else, proof his perversity didn’t die crossing Hollywood and Vine. Portentous signs and images are everywhere. For no known reason, the Los Angeles City Hall building overlooks scenes like the Eye of Sauron. A shot lingers on a super retro “BIG 6 MARKET” sign. Other signage announces “Godless America” like a sore thumb of lameness. It’s a real heart-sinker when you think how previous Refn films — fearless, strange, conceptually conflicted on purpose — actually dealt with Big Themes — Nature vs. Essential Human Identity, Identity vs. The State — as opposed to the theme at hand: Dane director dupes Americans hungry for Next Big Thing.

Meanwhile, at the screening I attended, I heard caws about noir this, and later read stuff about existential that. As a noir, Drive is a non-starter because there is no malign fate pushing Driver into a dark corner, no fatale, no awful thing that won’t stay in the past. No-Name Driver has a hard time of it because he constantly makes stupid decisions. So does Eric Cartman. Does that make South Park noir?

Meanwhile, Driver likes driving, and lives pretty much as he pleases, which would seem to preclude any thoughts of existential suffering or even mild world-weary question-asking. That is, until his boneheadedness returns, and then he’s just blasé about it, making him a hipster with a defeatist streak.

Actually, there is one great scene in Drive. It sits there, out of place, like a Post-it for Refn’s next, good film, the one that would actually meet the height requirement for film noir. Driver and Irene are in an elevator. Some terrible darkness in Driver’s gut says the other guy in the elevator is bad news, so he just up and starts beating the crap out of the guy as the elevator dings at Level 1.

But Driver can’t stop beating up this guy and we hear his victim’s skull crumbling as Irene looks on in horror at the monster that her Peter Pan has revealed himself to be. Their eyes meet, Gosling gets that woebegone, lost-boy Gosling look, and the audience is forced to ask themselves: What if he just killed some guy who never hurt anyone? What if the hero’s boyishness covers a real monster — and the hero doesn’t even know it?

A movie like that, that’d really be something.

But until we see it, the sporting thing to do is congratulate the young, hot director for his canny entry into the American market. Drive is indeed an impressive feat of hocus-pocus. Nicolas Winding Refn has accomplished the impossible — that of selling a film on the merits of qualities it so plainly doesn’t possess.

Ian Grey has written, co-written or been a contributor to books on cinema, fine art, fashion, identity politics, music and tragedy. His column "Grey Matters" runs every week at Press Play. To read another piece about Drive, with analysis of common themes and images in all of Refn's films, click here.

SLIDE SHOW: Who would win at the alternative Emmys?

SLIDE SHOW: Who would win at the alternative Emmys?


Forget best actress in a drama. We imagine a completely different — and more fun — Emmy broadcast

By Matt Zoller Seitz
Press Play Contributor

The 63rd Emmy Awards are scheduled for Sunday (Fox, 8 p.m./7 Central), with Glee star Jane Lynch hosting. As always, there will be dozens of statuettes handed out, and as always, only some of the satisfactions I get from TV will be represented. Actors, actresses, directors, writers and series get recognition, but by and large, the awards don’t quite match up with the way regular viewers watch (and talk about) television.

This slide show will try to remedy that sad state of affairs. Going beyond the standard Emmy categories — and invoking the spirit of the MTV Movie Awards but not its consistently awful taste — we’re handing out laurels in 10 categories not recognized by the Emmys: best individual episode of a drama, comedy and unscripted series; best monologue; best love scene; best comedy sequence; best cameo; best death scene; best action sequence; and best monster.

My eligibility period is the same as that of the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences: June 1, 2010, through May 21, 2011. If the program did not air between those dates, I did not consider it for inclusion in this slide show. So if you’re wondering why there are no awards for Breaking Bad, that’s the reason — the same reason it’s not up for any Emmys on Sunday.

I hope you’ll list your own favorites in these categories — and maybe devise some new categories! — in the Letters section.

You can view Matt’s full slide show here at Salon.

A critic, journalist and filmmaker, Matt Zoller Seitz is the staff TV columnist for Salon.com and the founder of Press Play.

IN THE CUT: From THE LINEUP to THE FRENCH CONNECTION

IN THE CUT: From THE LINEUP to THE FRENCH CONNECTION

EDITOR'S NOTE: Today, Press Play features Part III of Jim Emerson's In The Cut series. This video essay compares Hollywood's current approach to cinematic action as typified by Christopher Nolan's The Dark Knight to what came before it: Don Siegel's The Lineup, Peter Yates' Bullitt and William Friedkin's The French Connection. In The Cut Part III: I Left My Heart in My Throat in San Francisco delves deep into the history of the car chase scene itself, tracing how the visual language of such scenes developed and thrived, eventually smashing its way into America's cultural consciousness. Next week, Press Play will further examine the evolution of the cinematic car chase through its golden age, from The French Connection to that other Friedkin classic To Live and Die In L.A. To view Jim's piece about the police caravan scene in The Dark Knight, click here. To watch his video essay about the freeway sequence in Salt, click here.

By Jim Emerson
Press Play Contributor

Part III of In the Cut briefly recaps the action techniques previously examined in Part I (The Dark Knight — rapid chaotic cutting for impact, quickfire changes of direction) and Parr II (Salt — emphasizing spatial relationships within the frame and between shots), with a succinct comparison to the famous chase in William Friedkin's 1971 The French Connection, in which (as in TDK) two vehicles are traveling in parallel directions. Only instead of them being side by side, one is above the other.

From there, we move to the twisty streets and roller-coaster hills of San Francisco and two of the best car chases in American movies: the justly celebrated Ford Mustang vs. Dodge Charger contest in Peter Yates' Bullitt (1968), and a lesser-known but similarly accomplished pursuit from The Lineup, a 1958 film noir by Clint Eastwood's directorial mentor, Don Siegel (Invasion of the Body Snatchers, The Killers — the one in which villain Ronald Reagan infamously slaps Angie Dickinson — Dirty Harry, Escape from Alcatraz, and many others).

The method I've used in this three-part series — subtitled "Piecing together the action sequence," though "Taking apart…" might be more accurate — has been to start off looking at every single thing I have always found confusing about the first chase; contrast it with the radically different strategy from another recent (2010) mainstream cinema action sequence; and then to cast an eye back to notable action set-pieces from the 1950s, '60s and '70s.

Fasten your seatbelts. It's gonna be a bumpy and exhilarating ride.

In response to the first two parts, some have complained that "nobody looks at movies this way" — which is demonstrably untrue, since the evidence is right here in front of you. What they are really saying is that they don't want to look at how action sequences are put together this way, and that's fine. Nobody is forcing them to. (In addition to pressing PLAY, you can press PAUSE or go to another page.) Far worse are the movie-nannies who are saying: "I don't want to look at filmmaking this way and neither should you," an attitude that's as insufferably arrogant as it is absurd.

To reverse the old "forest-for-the-trees" metaphor, if you always looked at the forest from a distance, you'd never discover all the different kinds of trees it's composed of. You don't examine the individual trees exclusively, or every single time you behold the forest, but you can learn from examining the elements up close. As I've said before, studying film is like studying literature or music or painting: it's helpful to look at words, sentences, paragraphs; notes, bars, passages, movements; brush strokes, colors, compositions… and how the pieces relate to one another.

Can a bad movie have some good filmmaking in it — or vice-versa? If you have to ask that question, you haven't seen very many movies. In the Cut focuses on one thing and one thing only: the construction of action sequences. Those sequences were chosen not because these are the greatest (or worst) movies ever made, but because these specific sequences offer opportunities for illustration and discussion.

Sure, this approach is not for everybody, but I've been gratified by the enthusiasm of the responses — including the articulate rebuttals and alternate views. It's been fun, I've learned quite a bit (from the movies and from the commenters). And I think I might like to do it again sometime.


You can watch In The Cut: Part I: The Dark Knight here and In The Cut: Part II: Salt by Phillip Noyce here. Jim Emerson is a Seattle-based writer, critic, editor, blogger, video essayist, gardener and pedant. He is the founding editor of RogerEbert.com, where he also maintains his blog, Scanners.

REELING AND SPINNING: Would you please please please please please please please stop talking?

REELING AND SPINNING: Would you please please please please please please please stop talking?

EDITOR’S NOTE: Press Play contributor Craig would like to dedicate this column to all those long-suffering people who have ever had to sit through a preview screening with loud people.

By Craig D Lindsey

So, I’m in a packed auditorium to see The Help a few weeks ago – and I am freaking the fuck out.

I drove all the way out to this multiplex, one that I loathe, not only because it’s so far away, but because it has the most architecturally ass-backward auditoriums I’ve ever seen. They’re these gigantic screening rooms that must seat around 200 people. I feel like I’m watching a movie in the multipurpose hall back at my old high school.

But that wasn’t what had me freaked out. What had me irritated and nervous and short with everyone I came in contact with was that I had to watch a 137-minute movie about black maids in the 1960s South with black, female audience members.

I’m sitting in my seat, just screaming inside. The place is full. Some people I know are sitting next to me, and right in front of me are three middle-aged African-American ladies. Seeing those women there took me back to an experience I had years ago in the exact same multiplex. In fact, it was one of my most emasculated moments. I attended a Meet the Fockers screening there several years earlier and two hefty black women sat a few seats down, conducting their own DVD commentary track throughout the movie. Instead of telling these cows to shut the hell up, I just slid further in my seat and didn’t say a damn word, afraid to make a scene in a theater, but more afraid to get in a scuffle with two large black ladies. (The following day, one of my more muscular co-workers told me he was there in the next row in front of them. If I’d known he was there, we could’ve teamed up and taken them.)

Back to The Help. I’m on edge like a somovabitch now, and the movie hasn’t even started yet, and when it does, it’s not long before the trio of sistas in front of me start chiming in. Whenever a white character says or does something suspect, they have to put in their two cents. The breaking point came when Emma Stone’s character needed Viola Davis’ character for something and asked Davis’ white employer if she could borrow her. I believe the boss said something to the effect of, “OK, but I need her – tomorrow’s silver-polishing day.” One of the sistas squawked, within full earshot, “So?”

Yeah, I got up and left. I must’ve seen ten minutes’ worth of the flick before I bolted. (Keep in mind, I haven’t walked out of a movie since The House Bunny.) Some of you might be wondering how I could let these loud-ass ladies ruin my movie-going experience, but it wasn’t just them, as I was virtually surrounded by an entire Greek chorus of sassy, opinionated, predominantly black women. I knew the rest of the film would be filled with their groaning and snickering and catty little asides. I felt trapped, like I was transplanted back to the ‘70s and sitting in the studio audience for Good Times.

While I rejoiced that I wouldn’t have to deal with that bullshit anymore, I forgot about the fact that I had to turn in a review of the movie later that night for a weekly paper. When I left a voice message to the editor telling him what I had done, he called me back asking what I’d found so offensive about the movie that made me leave. I told him it wasn’t the movie that I found offensive, it was the audience. When I tried to explain to him the pain and torture of sitting in that group, he said my name the way a disapproving parent would. He was not happy in the slightest, and who could blame him? He couldn’t believe that, after all these years of reviewing movies and attending screenings, I’d lose my shit because I was sitting next to some chatty Keishas. And I couldn’t believe it either – I mean, I’m a professional, gotdammit! I’m too old to be flaking out like this!

There’s an easy explanation as to why I had this brief psychological meltdown. Gather around and let me explain something to you: I’m not a big fan of talking during movies.

I know, some of you are saying, “But, Craig, you’re black! How can this be?”

For most of my life, I’ve preferred watching movies alone. This is a choice I made way back when I was 11, when I told my mother that if we ever attended movies together, I was going to sit far away from her – not because I was ashamed to be seen with my mother at the movies, but because I couldn’t take any more of her yapping during the film! Her judgmental, disapproving moans! Her snarky side comments! She was Mystery Science Theater 3000 before Mystery Science Theater 3000 even showed up!

I know that the stereotypical perception of black moviegoers is that we must talk during the movie, but consider me the exception. Growing up in a house full of motor-mouthed, extremely self-righteous black women made watching movies an unpleasant experience for me. In fact, one of the most traumatic experiences of my childhood was when, at 8, I became sick and was bedridden. Most of the family was gathered around me, but what made this quite traumatic was that, at the time, we were all watching Risky Business. Yes, the whole family and I gathered around the TV to watch a young kid by the name of Tom Cruise become a teenage pimp.

The whole experience was memorably awkward, being stuck in bed as the fam watched Cruise and Rebecca De Mornay get all freaky-sneaky on a subway train. (Just so you don’t think my family consisted of awful guardians, they did tell me to cover my eyes during explicit scenes like that.) But it was their constant, unfiltered commentary about the movie that made this a childhood memory I just can’t shake. The women in my family were relentless in letting you know their opinions on a film as it was happening, and it made watching movies quite a chore. I anticipated their lip so much that I became constantly anxious and uncomfortable, unable to enjoy what I was watching.

At this point, I should say that I don’t think all African-American women talk during the movies. I recently attended that documentary on A Tribe Called Quest with a sista and she stayed mostly, satisfyingly quiet. And there have been times where I’ve attended a movie or two with white girls who couldn’t shut their traps, like that time I went to see Pineapple Express with a girl who kept responding to everything she saw on-screen with a jaunty-but-still-girly “Oh no!”

Anyway, you’d think that movies would be forever ruined for me. Well, here’s the twist: I grew up to be a film critic! For most of the last decade, I got paid to watch and review movies. For someone who grew up loathing hearing the responses of my fellow audience members (especially those who were related to me), this was a job that occasionally took its toll on me.

You see, most of the time, in order for critics to see movies before they drop, they have to attend preview screenings, which is usually the most loathsome way to watch a film. Publicity groups set up screenings in a theater, usually on the Monday or Tuesday night before the movie comes out, and distribute passes via radio and TV stations, businesses that sponsor the event, etc. So, usually, you’re not watching with a paid audience, but with freeloading riff-raff.

Preview audiences are the worst. On many an occasion, I’ve slowly made my way to auditoriums where a reserved seat awaits me. (These seats are always in the middle of the theater. I much prefer to sit way in the back, so I won’t have to be stuck in the middle of this cacophony of unruliness.) Once there, I slump in my seat, dreading the generally obnoxious behavior these audience members often exhibit throughout the movie.

But whether it’s chatterbox women, obnoxious teenagers, loud kids, douchebags on their cells or whoever, disrespectful or even indifferent viewers can easily ruin a movie-going experience for others. In a post on his blog last year, Roger Ebert put it best when he wrote of attending a packed screening at Chicago’s Music Box Theatre, finding the experience transcendent because the audience was filled with honest-to-God moviegoers who paid to get in and had a vested interest in seeing the movie:

“At many screenings, particularly the ‘sneak previews’ at which critics are invited to join an audience of radio station listeners who got free tickets, the audience often doesn’t know or care about the movie, and they respond as in terms of peer communication rather than shared experience. In short, what I felt in my bones at the Music Box was the experience a working movie critic rarely shares, the sensation of seeing a movie in a room filled with people who are there of their own will, sympathize with movies, and respond genuinely.”

When Ebert wrote that, I was relieved that I wasn’t the only one who abhorred seeing movies with the disinterested audiences of preview screenings. To be quite honest, I actually prefer seeing movies with paying audiences. Whenever I pay to see a film (usually at a mid-afternoon matinee; I’m not even thinking about seeing a movie on a Friday or Saturday night, with kids and teenagers running around and acting more rowdy and dickish than the adults), the audience is usually on their best behavior, I assume because they paid their hard-earned money to be entertained by a motion picture. They didn’t pay to hear jagoffs talking or texting on their cellphones, or to hear some loudmouths do their own running commentary throughout the film. They came to see the film, dammit! Because of this unspoken rule, these movie-going experiences tend to be the most pleasurable. Even when the movie’s bad, I enjoy seeing it with an audience that wants to immerse themselves in the film.

I’m still in the movie-reviewing business, so unfortunately, I have to suck it up, be a man and take in a preview screening now and again. If it’s at a multiplex I’m usually comfortable at, that takes some of the edge off. If it’s a screening that was badly promoted and not a lot of people are there, then that really takes the edge off.

I realize this is an issue I may need to talk to a professional about (among many other issues in my life), but I’ll tell you this: after seven years of continuously taking in movies with audiences who act like they don’t have any gotdamn sense, I understand why people would rather stay home and watch films on their widescreen HDTV, complete with Blu-ray player and streaming Netflix Instant hookup. But there are still many of us who enjoy seeing movies on the big screen. Hey, maybe I’ll finally take in a screening of The Help – but definitely during a weekday, with fewer people around, of course.

Craig D. Lindsey used to be the film critic and pop-culture columnist for the Raleigh News & Observer. Now he’s back out there hustling, writing about whatever for Nashville Scene, the Greensboro News & Record, Philadelphia Weekly, The Independent Weekly and other publications. He has a Tumblr blog, and you can also hit him up on Twitter.